There is life after leaving an abusive relationship
Halfway through the first month of 2022, many of us have spent time considering the high and low points of last year, and perhaps have set some personal goals for change and improvement in the year ahead.
Sometimes the need for change strikes us at other times of the year. This can often be brought about by crisis, such as a medical diagnosis, a financial failure, or a relationshipthreatening issue. And, although we might never choose these types of circumstances as a means of growth, they can often serve as a catalyst for a new beginning that we give thanks for later.
At DART, we spend a lot of time writing about what life is like for people who live with someone who is abusive, controlling, or violent. When we hear from those who care about a person who is being abused (and any children who might be involved), they share a common desire for their loved one to leave the abuser, and live a life of safety and peace.
Believe me, we share that desire.
Yet, of course, it isn’t easy to get out of that type of relationship. “Why?” you might ask. It’s the million dollar question. There are many reasons why people do not leave. Finances. Fear of homelessness. Pressure from the family or church to stay together and work it out.
It could also be concern about the family pet, since abusers often threaten to hurt or kill the beloved furbaby if the victim leaves. But the biggest reason is fear, and it is wellfounded. The National Network to End Domestic Violence reports that after someone leaves their abuser, their risk of being killed increases by 75%.
There are those courageous souls who, despite their fears and despite these facts, do get away. The increase of domestic violence programs throughout our country has made it possible for them to escape to safety when they do. At DART, these brave souls have time to process the trauma they have experienced, to find support and encouragement from our advocates and others who have shared similar experiences, and to begin to heal.
That’s when their new life begins. Here are some glimpses of what that looks like.
In our support group, women share meals, walk together for exercise and company, and engage in activities such as painting, making jewelry, having makeovers and visiting community resources such as Ruston Community Men’s Shed. There is a sense of family there, and bonds are strong.
Shelter advocates help survivors apply for jobs and school, helping them with paperwork and planning for interviews. Friends of DART even donate clothing and accessories for the job search or a return to the college campus.
Parents join their children for weekly group activities, which may involve such things as movies, pizza, or attending area events such as ball games or art camps.
These relationships are just one sweet and restoring part of the new beginnings experienced at DART by those who have chosen freedom and healing over violence and abuse. Their journeys have taken courage and determination, and we applaud them. For those living in the fear and pain of family violence, your journey to a new life begins with that first step, perfectly described below.
“Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.” — Martin Luther King Jr.
Take heart. DART is here for you when you are ready. In the meantime, call our crisis line day or night for encouragement and support and 318-251-2255, or 888-411-1333.
