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Diet results in swinging from the ceiling

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Here are a few of the diets my ample physique has suffered through:
• The banana diet. I ate so many bananas I developed a desire to hang upside down in a tree while eating. When I started picking through my wife Susan’s hair at a movie one night, she quickly nixed that diet.
• The water diet. Did you know that you can actually drink too much water? You can. I nearly made myself sick, not to mention the plethora of trips to the bathroom.

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